Three Fold Utopian Dream

To see your text when I woke up is a gift I didn't think would be real, to know that you feel the same as I do is a three fold utopian dream, You do something to me that I can't explain.

That's from Simple Plan's song- I miss you. 

I woke up and saw your text. It surprised me. It really surprised me, but I don't know if it was the good way or the other way around. It was the magic word. The 3 magic words merged in 1. I couldn't believe it came from you, I just can't. As much as I want to believe it, I just can't. I was trapped again for the nth time. I did say I'm letting go of all these stupid feelings never expressed. I did. I tried my hardest and I'm still on the process of working on it. It's been a month already since I made the decision to stop everything. And suddenly... that text. It trapped me. I was again, devastated. Half of me wanted so bad to fall for it and the other half keeps telling me its nothing and I should never believe it. My mind and my heart were fighting.

I was shaking not knowing what best thing to do. And now, I'm trembling. I will never know what that text means. I can't guess anymore because I'm tired of guessing. It's always been me guessing throughout the years I liked you. I can't take another wrong guess anymore. It might kill me. 

If it was real, then maybe it would be the gift I didn't think would be real. If it was real, it would be that three fold utopian dream.

Again, I'm left with your enigmatic ego hanging. 

I've been trying ok? Stop making it hard for me. Please. There are lots of possibilities, and I don't know which one to believe. I don't want to grow hopes and see it stolen in front of me. I'm tired. I'm broken. 

Why am I given signs to hope when I decided to cut all the hopes so long ago? 

I don't know what do anymore.