I thought this would be the best Christmas that I could ever have, but nothing changed, its still the one I used to have. In fact for the past two years the situation exacerbated, I guess.
For the first time, I wasn’t excited to party with my relatives, I did not wrap my gift in the best way that I could- which I usually do before, I did not decide what’s best wear, I wasn’t wearing the smile I’m suppose to wear during the whole season- which contradicts to what I posted on the wall of my friends ‘It’s the season to be happy, Merry Christmas!’
Greaaaaat !!!
Sarcasm comes out naturally in situations like this. I could not but think of what’s wrong, it just couldn’t be as perfect as I want it to be, or at least, as better as it should be.
It’s the feeling you get when you think of something too much, I’m not saying its obsession, for it could be you’re thinking about it because; you care for it or you are in charge of it and the like (just think of situations that you ponder so much about, go beyond the knowledge level, never limit) So again, I presume, things go wrong if you overlooked at it, or….. stare at it in vain. It’s like; ‘what you do is what you get’- if you think you’ve done good then you’ll deserve something better, but if it’s the other way around, good luck ! What you put into your actions will give the result complementary to it. Skepticism is just a state of mind.—MINDSET. again, what you think is what you get.
Am I confused? I guess so. I don’t even know what Im doing or why am I doing this whole thing. Weird though. Gaaaah ! This isn’t me ! I can’t be mad forever, I can’t be stupid, clueless, weak… I don’t want to be miserable ! never in my plans to be one.
Am I a hypocrite? Maybe. What a shame…. I keep on saying this and that, blah..blah.blah.. but I could not even help myself, I could not even help myself for the nth time…. damn !
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