I can't yet...

Moving on and settling on the present is my biggest issue at the moment. BIGGEST.

I feel so alone. I feel lost. I feel depressed. I feel frustrated. I feel deprived.

I hate it when I caught myself wander about the things of the past, which unfortunately I can't turn back to the present. Ok, it's high school. I can't move on about the whole thing yet. Whenever I go home from a day spent with any of my high school buddies, I feel so sick. It sucks. The feeling is unbearable, you feel like you want to cry so badly and shout like hell, take off everything that stresses you, things that make you feel so alone.

Jeez! It distracts the hell out of me. I miss my friends sooooo badly. I miss the things we used to do together, I miss EVERYTHING!

I just can't move on yet, I really can't. I feel like crying all the time, imagine a 3 year old kiddo left in a preparatory school longing for the presence of her parent? yah, that kind of feeling.

But someone told me... why move on? KEEP HOLDING ON!

She's right, for now its the best I could do. Keep holding on those memories, I know for sure that those are one of my inspirations. And if I let go of everything I would be torn into pieces.

The memories we shared are more than priceless.

Life may not be fair for me as of the moment, but I'll take some time to think about it again, breath in and out, wake up and live every day. And maybe after rehearsing the whole thing, all will turn out well, better than I expected it to be.

This is all for now.